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i fell quick and hard

and you were never there to catch me


To start, I am a 19 year old student currently enrolled in my sophomore year of college. I am studying, slowly but surely (and sometimes not enough) to become a psychologist, with a specialty in experiemental memory techniques and counselling. I attend a small private college in western Virginia, and then plan to attend UVA for graduate studies.

I might even pursue the path of writing the next American Novel, or the next American fallout novel. Sometimes I can be witty, other times I come off foolish. I might somehow captivate you with my humor, but most the time I will leave you thinking “What the hell is he talking about?!”

I was born in DIRTAY JERSEY, or whatever the local yocals call it. I claim absolutely no ties to this state, as we were simply residing there temporarily for the duration of a month, when I arrived prematurely. Now do not get me wrong, I have absolutely nothing against NJ, but I am such a conformist I have to claim heritage to VA, seeing as I am the only member of my family to be born outside of Virginia.

I hail from all parts of Virginia, but I mostly claim to originate in Yorktown, Va. It suprises the hell out of me when Americans have never heard of Yorktown, considering it was the place of victory during the Revolutionary War. It is quite sad when you are required to take US History in elementary, middle, and even high school, and you STILL DO NOT KNOW Virginia was the location of the victory. But that is the U.S.’s wonderful school system.

I had the advantage of residing in Europe for most of my childhood. This made me one unusual MFer when I arrived in the U.S. and attended eigth grade (YES the first American school in my life). You want to talk about a culture shock?!

I pick up fans when I don’t want them. I try to keep things looking positive, even when I am shoulder high in shit. I have the most eclectic taste in music. I love your mom jokes, mostly because it is an excellent juxtaposition of ‘today’s youth’s’ and ignorance. Sometimes when there is no one around, I listen to music that I am guilily pleased to hear. You can try and ask me what that music is, but chances are I won’t tell you.

I am a die-hard Mac user. My gorgeous 12″ iBook has by far surpassed the technologically boasted windows computer I previously owned. As the poor students at my school suffer from viruses, network problems, and AIM trojans, I am quietly listening to music with my unaffected mac. If there is one way to insult me, it is to criticize the mac when you HAVE A DAMN iPOD! The software is relatively the same and you just ignant!

I am a sleepwalker, screamer, and fighter. I wake up all the time in weird places, and someone ALWAYS sees me and tells stories about me. I even woke up one morning in the middle of the hallway while the fire alarm was going off. I can argue without a doubt that extreme sleep-disorders such as these are hereditary, as four others of my extended family do the same I do.

I am one of the best drivers I know my age. Or maybe perhaps I am the worst, yet never got caught. I have great pride in being the only teenage driver my dearest Elizabeth can trust while driving. Chances are I am the crazy white boy you see on the road doing unusual things and when you pass me flippin’ the bird I am jubilantly waving. That is my humor so don’t be alarmed.